Latina-Gringa or Gringa-Latina?... What am I?

My lovelies! Isabelle here,

You may have noticed that our blog has had a slight change in both name and content. From SimplyAthena we are now happy to introduce “Paws and Prose”. This continues to be a blog for first-time pet pawrents; however, it is also now a place where I, Isabelle, can come and share some of my personal life with you. These are things that I hope will interest you, things that maybe I am able to say that you may be going through and maybe have not been able to speak up on, and hopefully, a place that encourages YOU to find a way to share YOUR own story! With that said, I take the opportunity to officially welcome you to PAWS and Prose!!

Today’s post came about as I sat looking out the window of my latest plane ride to Colombia. As I was soaring miles above and waiting in nervous excitement to see my family members whom I hadn’t seen in 5-6 years, I began to think of who I am. I began to think of what I am. Ok, ok, you’re at that stage again thinking “Uhh, ok… why is she telling us this? Isabelle, why is it that you never make sense? Woman!! Lucy, EXPLAIN!” (IYKYK LOL). Take it easy my friends as I will always elaborate for you, and if I do this, its also because I enjoy having a little fun with you (event if it does make my posts lengthier lol). So, as I said, on this plane ride, I began thinking of my double heritage, my Colombian American heritage, and what it means to have families in both countries. I began to think of what it means to have your heart divided amongst two or more parts of yourself. I know that a lot of you can relate, especially if you come from two or more heritages yourself. I can cause a mix, a confusion, a conundrum if you will of who your true persona is. It can cause you to rethink or question where you belong. I know this flight and this trip solidified that for me.

You see, I am a Southern CA born woman born to Colombian parents. Being born in California, in the U.S. itself has always been a blessing to me. It has given me the opportunity to grow up in a great nation, in a great education system, in the “land of opportunities” that so many fight to get to. It is also a complete 180 from my Colombian land. A land where “pachangas” or “rumbas” (parties) are the place to be and the thing to do, where people work hard but play hard too, a place where “Buenos días”, “Buenas tardes”, and “Buenas noches” are extended even amongst those that know nothing about each other. A land that, perhaps does not have as much economic opportunity but has that warmth amongst its people. A land where, no matter what time you arrive home from a trip, you have 10, 15, sometimes even 20 people waiting to greet you at the airport and welcome you home.

Now, as I sat on the plane thinking about this, I reflected on how both of my nations make up such an integral part of my life. On the one hand, I love my home. I love my country and the safety it provides me (in every sense of the word: financial, physical, etc.) but I also love the warmth and free-spirited minds of my Colombian people. I reflected on how life sometimes feel like a balance or like an “exchange” of sorts. For me, maybe it’s the homebody in me that’s caused this but, I feel like my sacrifice is living in a place that I love and that offers so much but that also means living in a more “isolated” or “quiet” environment. It’s hard to explain in a post, and perhaps those that have never lived this will never quite understand but its DIFFICULT. Its emotionally draining and exhausting to have this internal push and pull within you.

Ok, ok so many of you might be thinking “well, you just have to learn to be happy wherever you are with whatever you have” and I am in complete agreement because, I am! I love my SoCal life; however, that does not mean that there is not that nostalgia of wanting to “have my cake and eat it too”. I wish I could find a hybrid where I did not have to feel I was pushing or pulling on either side and that neither family nor my home felt far away. Maybe this is just a season of life, especially since I am recently widowed but, I pray that I find a way to be content. I pray that anyone currently living this emotional push and pull within can also find a way to be happy where they are reconciling the different parts of their heart, minds, and beings without feeling they have to pick and choose one or the other. If you have ever felt this way and if you like this post/topic, please let me know in the comment section of the blog below. I look forward to reading you! Also, please let me know if you would like to hear read more topics like this.

Many warm hugs and much ❤️ to you all my lovelies!

❤️ XOXO Isabelle XOXO ❤️